Lust vs. Courtship: The Story of a Picture

It was 2005, and I was ready to throw in the towel.

I was searching for the woman God had chosen to be my future wife, but so far hadn’t found her. I had looked high and low, and had even been on both Catholic Match and Ave Maria for over four years without meeting her.

Why was God taking so long to bring us together?

Would I ever find her?

I had prayed so many novenas to St. Joseph, among other saints, that I began to wonder whether any of it helped. The devotions, the Rosaries, the adoration hours, the daily Masses.

Heck, I even secretly wore the Cord of St. Joseph, that no one I knew had even heard of. Anything and everything to find my future wife…and to conquer the compulsion I had felt for years and years to lust and pornogrpahy.

A Hail Mary to St. Joseph

My mom had bought me a big statue of St. Joseph holding the child Jesus that was made in Guatemala. Somewhere I heard about a special challenge to make to St. Joseph where you wrote out a prayer with a specific intention and then attached it or placed it under a statue or icon of St. Joseph.

So I did that, requesting that St. Joseph obtain for me the grace of finding my future wife within the next year.

I wrote out the note, and taped it to the statue, and each day I prayed that God would answer the prayer through St. Joseph’s intercession.

A few months went on, and I met someone virtually through Ave Maria and Catholic Match. Her name was Katie, and she is now my wife, but at that time, we hadn’t even met in person.

She sent me a picture of herself with a few members of her extended family, and I placed it next to the statue as well:


Katie is the lady on the left, standing with her brother-in-law and his wife and child. You see in that picture the note with the prayer written on it, taped to St. Joseph’s statue. (By the way, Katie wants to say that she now wears clothes that covers her shoulders.)

A Long War Against Lust

By this time, I had been working for years to overcome pornography addiction. Though it was often three steps forward, two steps back, I was starting to have real hope that I could conquer this vice.

Meeting Katie provided even more motivation for me to grow strong in chastity. Now I knew that there was a decent chance I had met my future wife; she was real, concrete, and any sins against purity I committed would, in a sense, be against her as well as God.

I started to see that those Rosaries, adoration hours, devotions, sacramentals, Confessions, theology of the body studies, and daily Masses were all instrumental in winning me victory over sin, as well as in me finding Katie.

Nothing is wasted or lost with God. He will use everything to bring about His will.

Under the Reign

Katie and I got engaged, then married. We moved into our home together, and I found the statue of St. Joseph with the note attached. The date on note was in November of that year, the same year that we married.

St. Joseph had come through.

God taught me many lessons along the way to finding my wife and also growing in chastity. But the one that most stuck with me is: Avail yourself of every means that God and His Church give you to grow in holiness, and persevere in them.

Ten years passed, and for months I had been feeling a nudge to help other Catholic men conquer pornography compulsion. Truth be told, after I overcame that vice, I tried to put it all out of my mind. But it kept coming back.

I finally determined that it was something God may be calling me to do, so I created a video course to help men conquer pornography addiction.

catholicknightsidebarThis course takes the approach to “throw the kitchen sink” at lust. I give you every single weapon that I found or that friends of mine found that helped us conquer pornography.

I didn’t know what to expect, so I put the course out there a month ago, and to my surprise over thirty men signed up. I emailed each of them personally to thank them and offer my ongoing support and encouragement. Every man who signs up I am committed to personally helping in whatever way they need. Also, I am adding to the course every week with new materials, downloadables, guides, and even a bootcamp.

Let’s raise up a new generation of men free to love, free to give themselves in sacrificial love for their families and for others.

If you are struggling with purity, take the next step and find out about all the weapons at your disposal to be set free by God. The feeling of being free from slavery to sin is inexpressibly wonderful, and Christ wants that for each of us.

Conquer Pornography Addiction

Catholic men, you can conquer pornography addiction.

But you need God’s grace.

And you need help from many other sources.


I became addicted to pornography in my teen years, and the vice put down deep roots in me. I knew deep down it was wrong, but as the years passed my conscience became more and more dulled to it.

catholicknightsidebarGod led me to salvation in Christ, and I became a Christian. I was baptized in a Southern Baptist Church and met solid Baptist friends.

I remember reading the verses where Jesus said: “Everyone who looks lustfully at a woman has committed adultery with her in his heart.” I knew I had to change, had to start fighting my addiction to lust and pornography.

I started on the journey to purity, but it was slow going. Two steps forward, one step back. I prayed, went to praise and worship times, and had an accountability partner. I made progress but did not conquer the addiction.

The Catholic Key

I entered full communion in the Catholic Church.

Download the free checklist to conquer porn addiction

Now, I began to arm myself with the fullness of the means of salvation: the sacraments, novenas, communion of saints, sacramentals, devotions, adoration, the theology of the body, and the fullness of the truth.

I made faster progress, by God’s grace. Soon, I could feel the hope growing that I would conquer this vice and become self-mastered.

There was no one moment, no one secret trick, but as the months and years passed I no longer felt drawn to lust after women with pornography. I eventually met my wife and was able to share with her some of my journey.

I’m tempted almost everyday to lust in some way or other. But the difference is that the virtue of purity is now strong within me, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Out of the Dark

Over the years, many men have asked me privately about how they can overcome porn addiction. They are ashamed of it; it is harming their families, and they fear they cannot conquer it.

Lots of good resources exist to help Catholic men with this sin. But because most men don’t ever talk to each other about it, they don’t know about all the resources.

So I collected up all the resources, tools, weapons, and strategies that I and other Catholic men have used to gain victory and put them in a powerful video course.

I include in it a free, downloadable Conquer Porn Victory checklist.

This course is concise. I don’t mince words. You can complete the course in under an hour. I give you my own experience and the resources I and others have used.

Start now. Don’t give up. God is with you!